hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
