ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
