He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
