take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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