Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
