i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
