I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize