We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
