There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
