I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
