dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
