Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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