You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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