I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
