Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
