Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
