What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
