We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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