So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
