Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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