I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
