bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
