I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
