During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
