I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
