So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
