it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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