pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
