Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
