I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
