i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
