There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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