Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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