I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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