Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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