i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish you could order shots online.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
