ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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