and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
