im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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