I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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