Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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