I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
