Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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