life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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