so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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