he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
