is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
