Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize