The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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