I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
