but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
