please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
