i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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