I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am available for nakedness
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
