I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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