I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
