Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
