Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
