in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
