The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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