this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
