I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
