omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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