Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize