The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
