but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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