i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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