this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I would fuck him just for his dog
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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