So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
