I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
