ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
