Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
