I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
